That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
