I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There's always time for handjobs
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
