i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
