I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
