Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
