He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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