my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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