so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
