So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
