i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
