Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
