Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize