Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Best friends brother. Beat that.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
