At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
