my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
