i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
