do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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