dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
