hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
