I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
