i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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