i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
