Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Pants 0. Shit 1.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize