Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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