he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
