dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
