Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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