Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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