She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
