Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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