Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
