Is it normal to miss your booty call?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
