I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize