this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If I die, sorry about rent.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize