i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize