return my video game
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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