So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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