Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize