Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
