I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
