he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize