perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize