took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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