But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Drake has all the answers
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
