I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
