My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
