I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
areolas are like halos for boobs.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Randomize
