Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
