Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
