she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
