You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
