dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
