all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
