Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
