so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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