Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You are a genius and a whore.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
