shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
