and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dicks are not precious.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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