bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize